Railway scene

Kathie Touin

Lyrics to the album Butterfly Bones

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Butterfly Bones

Adam's Kiss

Is this what you meant
when you told me it would be all right
Is this where we were going
this surrender with no fight

And what now do I do
that it all depends on you
and what now can I say
when it all comes down today

Where do we go now
you and me here face to face
Where does it all work out
in this limitless shared space

Can we ever be just
what it is we were meant to be
Could it really happen
could it really happen to me

There's nothing left to say
words just trip me up today
It would be easy to show you
but am I strong enough to follow through


So one more night here
in a silent room with listening walls
I've been here many times before
and it's my turn to take the fall

So what now do I do
that it all depends on you
and what more can I say
when it all comes down today



I'm too old for all this
but my soul doesn't seem to know it
Am I still waiting for this
the one chance that I missed

I shouldn't blame me you say
but I'm the one that wanted to stay
I sat up half of last night
wondering what to write

Is this allowed?
Is it necesssary?
Is this allowed?
Is it necessary?
Is it life-threatening
Oh, you know I hope so
'cause something needs to change

It's a little private joke
that's shared with no-one
I know just where I messed up
It's 'cause I never hooked up

I'm afraid to show you this
afraid for it to be dismissed
But I can't keep it to myself
You're the best one I can think to tell


And if I had it would I ever know
what to do with it
Some things I hold too close
Some things I shouldn't have let go

All it would take would be for you
to say the right thing to me
It's all been going so well
But it's too soon to tell



I have butterfly bones
crushed beneath the weight of all this joy
I have little bird strength
trying to bear me up through all this joy

How can something so wonderful hurt so much
How can something so perfect have such a heavy touch
How can something so difficult make me want to sing
You know if it was up to me I wouldn't change a thing

I have dragonfly movement
I can rely upon to move me through
Grass growing through stones
could not push harder than I can do


And together we will get there
and we'll sit down on the grass
we'll laugh at clouds blown in the sky
and wonder why we wondered why


I have butterfly bones
crushed beneath the weight of all this joy

Maybe Weeks

I can be as patient as I need to be
waiting while my life's running away with me
looking for the answer to that morning question
the one that yanks me wide awake without affection

A slap in the face to get me moving forward
tripping over expectations fully lowered
all I want is someplace nice to lay my head
but the road still lands me back in this old bitter place instead

Too much taste can be a surfeit
Too much breathing leaves me airless
Too much hope can really break you
Too much hate is what it makes you

Someone take me dancing show me everything I've missed
all the states of exaltation, all the continents of bliss
I know it's out there somewhere just beyond my reach
All I need's a few more feet or hours or hands or maybe weeks


I can be as patient as I need to be
until the world will come and lay down curled around my feet
So make of all this what you will I know what I'll have found
if you come back here tomorrow I might not still be around


Stop Me

Stop me if you've heard this one before
It's the one about the girl who walks out an open door
Stop me if I repeat everything I say
Sometimes it just feels like I'm reliving the same day

But I fly every time I'm with you
and I cry every time you leave me
and I die just a little bit more every day
Won't you come and take me away

Stop me if you've heard this one before
It's the one about the girl who couldn't take it anymore
Stop me if I still claim that it's true
that everything I am I owe to you


why did I never know why I couldn't say
why I loved you so why won't you come and take me away

Stop me if I lose myself along the way
it's so hard to find the reasons why I feel like this today
Stop me if I start to tear you down
I just can't believe that after this you still want me around


Safe as Houses

It's what they tell you when the roof is caving in
it's what they tell you when you have to start again
and everything you've known
is lying 'round your feet like broken bones
and everything you've known
is lying 'round your feet like broken bones

Safe as houses I thought I was
Safe as houses but you know
They're only built on sand and everything slides away
Everything that stands is only built on sand and slides away
Everything that stands is bound to become sand someday

It's how I knew you the first time that we met
it's how I knew you when I had absolutely nothing left
And everything I ever knew
was piled on the doorstep nothing left to do
Everything I ever knew
was piled on the doorstep nothing left to do


And nothing feels the same to me
there's nowhere left for me to be
the person that you take me for just needs a little more
I just need something more


No More Clouds (for Graham)

No more clouds around my sunrise
No more shadows on the moon
Everything seems so much brighter
Now that I'm with you

No more endless nights of questions
No more days just getting through
Everything seems so much easier
Now that I'm with you

Suddenly the wind is at my back
Tides may turn and time will pass
And it can rain now all it wants to
It doesn't touch me since I found you

No more storms that set me reeling
I'm not stranded by calms at sea
Everything seems right in reach
Now that you're with me


All my winters now are warmer
All my springs hold promise, too
And I will dance through every season
Now that I'm with you



Everything today is clarifying
I never knew how much I had swallowed
Never noticed I was slowly dying
I'd stuffed it down till I was nearly hollow

There's only one thing now I fear
Another one I might allow to bleed me
To suffocate in someone else's atmosphere
To start to die again and do it unheeding

Why can't there be someone
complete and, like me, whole
Why can't this stupid story
just get told

I sense a place of density
Somewhere with no gaps left to fill
Someplace contained in destiny
Without the need to kill

It feels so far away from here
But I can taste it on my tongue
A life with nothing left to fear
And nothing, nothing left undone


Nothing's Not Enough

What do I want
Whatever I can get my hands on now
What do I need
Whatever you can give me that will stop me going out of my mind

5x7 on the 'frigerator door
just reminds me of what I don't have anymore
and everything I want to leave and want to throw away
I keep hoping that I'll wake up in the right place

One more day that tore its way through me
One more mirrored face not who I want to be
And would you even notice If I gave it all away
I keep hoping that I'll wake up on the right day

So come on, bring it
And show me what you've got
'cause I can't stand it
And this nothing's not enough

All these echoes that keep banging 'round my mind
Too much panic at all this disappearing time
You say you don't owe me but you took it all away
I keep hoping it'll all come back my way



I think I hit the wall tonight
I can't go out and I can't stay in
Everything inside me is aching to be with you
But I'm not sure where to begin

A bare light overhead
shows me camped out on my bed
I need a follow-spot just to show me what I've got
but all that I can see is you instead

I'd like to hit that wall tonight
Smash it to the ground and build it up again
Everything around me shows me what I have been missing
I can't go out and I can't stay in


So pin me to the wall tonight
and leave me breathless once again
Anything between us should be nothing more than air
I'll go out if you promise to come in


Only Sky

This is more than I can say
all the things that led me to today
everything I see is from a distance
the way ahead's the one with no resistance

And all that I can see is only sky
all around me I don't know why
there's nothing that I can't let pass me by
all I see is only sky, only sky sky

The words you say mean nothing anymore
I wonder what you think it all was for
You carry on as if it really mattered
when long ago the meanings all were shattered


So turn around and look to see
what's gaining ground behind you
you say if you were me you'd know exactly what you should do
but you're not, you know it shows and yes it's true
that I don't always know but I don't mind

So can't we have a quiet conversation
without the pleas and desperation
just let it pass and move ahead
and let me at last forget instead


T shirt

I was born in the wrong time, the wrong place, the wrong sex
is there anything left
I got someone else's problems somebody's husband
and their body but I got none of their money

I'm only someone that looks a little bit like me
if you ask me I'll tell you but you'll never believe
Gonna get me a t shirt and it's going to read
'yes, it is really', 'yes, it is really'

In the right place but I left it
should have known it when I had it but it's just a bad habit
I play the wrong kind of music and the wrong instrument
but it's not really relevant


I don't know why you bother when you only contradict me
it's the same old story you always inflict on me
So take it where you want it
And I'll let it all slide on by
'cause nothing you could say can make me never want to try


Just a Minute (in for now)

Just for now I can breathe
just for now I can rest easy
just for now I can soak it in
just for now I don't have to begin

'cause in a minute it will pull me on
in a minute I will be gone
in a minute the hour's passed
in a minute that will not last

Just for now I don't have to leave
just for now I can look around me
just for now it's all my stuff
just for now this is enough

'cause in a minute it will pull me under
in a minute I will gladly surrender
in a minute I'll have all I wanted
in a minute that is undaunted

Just for now I can take or leave you
'cause in a minute I will have to choose
just for now I can stay or go
'cause in a minute it will be tomorrow

Still Quiet

We just sat and talked for hours
'bout everything under the sun
in this still quiet place I found
what I had been searching for in everyone

Does no one know this side of you
nothing hidden in your eyes
knowing I've seen the walls come down
leaves me quietly surprised

The stars are out
oh, the night is sweet
and while you're here
there's nothing else I need
I'm not saying anything just
listening to you breathe
and hoping that I'll never have to leave

So still we sit, the words have gone
as the quiet holds us here
I can feel your power, your strength and calm
and all the rest just disappears


Does It Really Matter

Did I find you when I least expected to
was it you that turned my head
could it be I just imagined all of it
was there only nothing there instead
Did I stumble when I least expected to
coming hard down on my knees
Is it just my stupid wishful thinking
making a fool of me

Does it really, really matter
Could it maybe all count for something
Does it really, really matter
That I'm still standing here next to you
still standing

Were you there when I least expected you
Standing with a smile that could melt my fear
Or were you only waiting in the rain for a bus that never came
like I've been waiting all these years


It always goes the way I least expect it to
off in a direction I'd hoped it would never go
I want to bring it back, stop it going on again
but one more time I've misplaced my control


All lyrics © 2004 K.Touin All rights reserved